Saturday, November 1, 2008

Get Real!



Is it weird that my one thought at the moment is that if I am hit by a truck tomorrow, at least my memory will forever be enshrined in ProQuest? Of course, if I don't get my copyrights cleared, it will be enshrined in ProQuest, but restricted from public access. That would be sad. Mental note: clear my copyrights.

For awhile I thought it would make a funny blog post to keep a running tally of the paperwork involved in filing my dissertation. I kept that up for a day before it got to be too much. I didn't quite realize how much bureaucratic hazing would be involved in the process. There's the $65 money order--and only a money order--to ProQuest for copyright registration that sent me into a last-minute tizzy before I realized it was optional. There was the form attesting to the fact that I have not used more than 12 hours of University resources this quarter, allowing me to pay a "filing fee" rather than register as a student again. That form, mind you, needed to be signed by both my department chair and committee chair. The pages upon pages of surveys, making sure sure that my time at UCLA was well-fed and well-mentored. (It was.) You have to have two copies of the manuscript, printed on at least 25% cotton paper, in manila envelopes with an extra title page taped to the front--"taped at the corners," the book-length filing guide carefully specifies. On the day itself, you take a stack of paperwork over to one office for a round of checking and stamping, then to a different office in a different part of campus for another round of checking and stamping, and then back to the original office for the final checking and stamping.

The final count, because you care:
Pages, excluding front matter: 250 (a suspiciously round number, no?)
Words: 57,0101
Footnotes: 333 (again with the weird numbers)
Pictures of Doris Day: 2
Blurry Pictures of Maverick Concert Hall I took three years ago: 2
Picture of Sonny Til "Perspiration Streaming Down His Face": 1

5 comments:

rrb said...

Congratulations! A round of drinks on me next week--that is if you are willing to slum it with the graduate students now that you're all grown up!

mb said...

omg, not weird! i did the reverse (re trucks hitting me): for about a month before i actually filed, i'd cross streets thinking, "man, it would be so tragic if i were killed and i never had a chance to file my dissertation." as if that would be the worst part of dying at that particular juncture.
CongratuLATIONS, btw!!!!!

Kimberly said...

Congratulations. It seems that you evened out the suspiciously round number of pages but the almost freaky number of words - 570101 ?
I checked, it is not a primary number..

cpo said...

Congrats! In some ways filing is the hardest part. Now onward and upward Dr. Phil.

Steve said...

hey dr. phil I left you a email on your website as got_hacked so please do not delete it, I sent one to robin too, so please be careful i need to talk with one of you please thanks laters